Failing to See Lily Allen
April 2nd, 2009
by Aaron Edelson
It may take you people over there at MusicUnion a while to get your acts together and buy me tickets on time. This MusicUnion project is valiant enough, so let’s start going to some shows. If I must design and print the press passes myself then that is a sacrifice I am willing to make. Perhaps though I didn’t try hard enough to convince the bouncers that I was actually press, and needed to get inside. Next time I am going to need a day-glo pink duffel bag with the word press printed in sans serif font, and a stunning hot 19-year-old student from UCLA on my arm. With those two items a man can get anything done.
After failing to get into the concert I returned to my first love, which is grocery shopping. Around the corner from the Wiltern is a Ralph’s, with homeless folks sitting in front and mixing with latino youths. A bum asked me for change, and I said “tell me what you think of Lily Allen”. His toothless reply “she is a washed up hag” seemed to make sense outside of the art deco splendor of the Wiltern in front of the grocery. A holdover from Los Angeles’ first and arguably only true golden age the Wiltern sparkles, while the Ralph’s is as utilitarian as it gets. Only the truth can be spoken at Ralph’s. I asked the security guard if he likes Lily Allen and he just shrugged his shoulders. Wading through the bracycephalic sea of brown faces, I bought a beer for the evening.
It is too bad I didn’t get to see Lily Allen, because she must be seen to be believed according to her fans. For the past week I had been listening to her interviews, and figuring out what makes Lily Allen. Her fans applaud her for sounding markedly smarter on camera than other celebrities. However, Lily Allen’s gritty no holds barred attitude on camera can only come from being a Myspace celebrity. She rarely has the measured thoughtfulness of a true artist, but rather plays up her streetwise self-reliant London persona. What her fans would call authenticity, feels more like the down-covered naiveté of a myspace persona. It should only follow that Lily’s fans care about boyfriends, and body image struggle, and other young lady grievances. As with the rest of Myspace, the minutiae of Lily Allen is just as boring as the minutiae of anyone. I like her voice and I can’t stop humming Lily Allen tunes because they are catchy. The pillow like ethereality of Lily Allen’s voice reminds me of my lover’s sweet comforting shower song. I imagine Lily Allen getting out of some music producer’s shower, and hearing that her bathroom singing voice is going to be recorded. And for profit too!
Next time place the tickets at will call so that the shows can be covered from the inside too. There was a high preponderance of hetero couples on dates going into Lily Allen’s show. The implication being that Lily’s live show is like an action movie with a love plot, and therefore appealing to both sexes, could not be tested from the outside of the Wiltern. I really was curious to find out if the fans thought Julia Roberts and Clive Owen should end up kissing by the end of the show. There is a joy garnered from interrupting someone’s date to make an interview for MusicUnion.com, and that joy will have to wait until next show.
